Relationship coaching can be the toughest coaching I do. You must stay neutral as the coach and many times you end up being a mediator to a huge fight. Don’t let that frighten you.. It is very rewarding to see the outcome. I thoroughly enjoy what I learn through my client’s and couple coaching constitutes the majority of my business during this time of year.
For some reason, quarrels surface that may have been repressed through the holidays and now are being dealt with. However, how couple’s deal with conflicts will determine whether or not they stay together. Conflict resolution is a skill that takes practice and patience. From you as the coach as well as the couple’s you are coaching.
I am very grateful for the knowledge I have received through research, clients and my own relationships concerning this subject. These lessons have taught me how to be a better spouse, mother and even step-parent.
Here is a taste of what you will learn about conflict resolution by taking the Intuitive Life Coach Training (ILC) See Upcoming Training Beginning March 10 (Your Awakening) May 18th (ILC) Course Outline
Mapping this on paper creates more clarity for what is really bothering your client.
1. Separate the Issue from the person.. (the issue has to be concrete.. Something you saw or heard)
2. Never start the discussion with “Why do you…. or You …” These become attacks at the person, thus creating a defensive reaction and the discussion becomes heated.
3. Keep the conversation in first person. Include, What do you think? What do you feel? What do you want?
4. What action steps have you done in the past that have not worked and what can you do currently to resolve this and how will it be different in the future.
When Listening…. Listen to Understand not to create the next argument
1. Don’t get defensive and interrupt
2. No eye rolling or sarcasm
3. Reflect back to the person what they said (you don’t have to agree, but this helps you get to how they feel or their point of view and helps them feel heard)
4. Ask for the win/win situation for both of you and sometimes that means agreeing to disagree.
By using these guidelines as a coach, you can assist in finding happy grounds for each person. Remember to keep the words right and wrong out of the scenario; your job is to promote growth and encourage a loving caring relationship. I look forward to meeting you in training!